name:frhzlkf
status:sleepy
song: with you by jessica simpsons
current issues: is it over?
Hey,I am so sleepy since I still havent take my after class nap (which I took every time I finish a class, hehe), still, there's just too many things that I need to update you guys on :) First of all, my relationship with berrie is on the rocks. i love him so much, I still do, but sometimes love alone is not enough when its tainted with lies, right? It all started when Berrie send a wrong sms to me, calling some other band girl "sayang". i can take ajoke, I admit I too sometimes call my guy friends sayang, but what hurts me the most, he didnt tell me about it. Im okay with everything, just as long as he told me about it.I dont like the way I found out about it.
he was supposed to play for the girl's band since she dont have a drummer yet, so because i was so hurt, I asked him not to play for her, thats all. One simple request. But he didnt want to do it. He said he cant do that to the girl, which makes me wonder who she is. After a long long night of fighting, the next day, he told me okay, he wont play for that girl's band anymore. I was so happy and is willing to let all of this go. Unfortunantely, three days after that, when we are eating dinner together, his phone received a sms, and he quickly hide it from me, which HE NEVER DO BEFORE. Too bad for him, i saw who sms him, and its the girl! He deleted the messega, which I still dont know why even till now. He admit to me that he didnt tell teh girl that he;s not playing for them, and the WORSE part is that, he will just play for them at the gig. I asked him, "then you sanggup biar I sedihlah dekat gig tu? " and he said yes. He said he knows he can makes me feel okay again. He really take me for granted, dont he?
That same night, we had a huge fight! After hours of fighting, He said okay, he wont play for the girls' band, but its not enough for me, I dont want the girl's band to play at my gig anymore. But he still wants them to play.
To cut the story short, he dump me, just so that the girls band can play.. I wa sthe one who sms him and call him again, asking not to break up with me, and he said okay. he said he didnt mean it, he's only saying he dump me because he knows he can get me back. I sounded so cheap dont i?
At the gig, I just ignore the topic because I want him to have fun (yeah, I still think about him, stupid me). He is so lovey dovey with me after teh gig, and I make the conclusion that after the gig is over, he knows I'm the only who will be beside him, and not all the other bands that he adores so much, even dumping me looks good. Two night after the gig, i sms him, using an unknown number, disguised as that girl, and suprised suprised, even after he tells me that im the one and yada yada yada, he begged for that girl's forgivenes and say really sorry he cant see her perform (because I dont let him). Its obvious he's not doing it because he loves me, but because he's only jaga hati..
i am really hurt and frustrated that I dont care much anymore. I think im slowly falling out of love with him.
How do you feel when someone you love and trust lie and dump you for another girl?
2 comments:
omg. that's so sucky! dang him.
fierah, you can do so much better than think about him again when he does that to you. to me, when he does things like that, it's time to say bye-bye.
it's hard cause you still love him. i know. but you need to save yourself first, don't you think?
T______________T
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