tragedies

hello people :)

bad news. the night before my last final paper, marketing, berrie and I went out to duplicate my house keys, buy my pink dye and meet up with his MFA's friend. and yeah, as most of you had known, I lost my N95. yes, the same N95 that I just bought about what? 3-4 months ago?

And i suspected the auntie who own the rented car that we rent took it. Why? because I had it with me all the way back to UiTM. We had to take a short walk towards the campus after that, so if drop somewhere during the journey, I would have seen it, or hear it.

The biggest mistake is that I call the auntie first, so she may have take it first before I could make my way to see her (yeah, i have to cry in front of the guards to get out since its way past 12 oclock.). And if you guys had seen her expression when I said my phone is off, you guys would suspect her too. (My phone is still ringing everytime I call it but it only went to voicemail when I arrived at the auntie's house)

The pathethic thing is, that bitch who took it use up my credit and my number up to this morning, because yeah, its ringing.

After I cried for two days,I went out to buy a new phone with my brother. We picked up Berrie before we go, since his brother lives near to my new house, and just about 5 meters after we picked him, we got into an accident. A minor one, but still, there goes new handphone :(

btw, we are all safe and happy :))

Fortunately, I just came home from buying my new phone :) Still N95, but it wont never be the same.Still, Alhamdulillah :))

Thankyou Sarra for lending me your handphone (and simcard) for this past few days :))

I know that all the bad things that is happening to me is part of Allah's plan to make me realized something. Maybe I had done wrong to someone, and I'm grateful that Allah still loves me to give me guidance.

Somebody once told me, "Allah Maha Adil, setiap dugaan adalah untuk menyedarkan kita tentang kesilapan kita, jadi terimalah dgn seadanya, bukan menyalahkan orang lain"

thankypu for making me realize that :)

stalker

its simple.

i dont give a damn about a certain someone's life and activities.

but hey, what do you know, they are SO interested in mine. haha

translation: dont you guys have anything better to do than insulting and making fun of people who dont give a damn about you? even the tiniest dot doesnt represent all of you in my life, so im very touched to know that I'm such a huge topic in your life. :))

and please bitches and gays, get a life.

hear both sides of the story before you assume anything okay? afterall, Allah SWT knows the truth and what you guys say or do doesnt effect us at all.

n/r

hello hello :)

i will have to stay outside next semester.

translation: this stupid university kicked 2/4 of next sem's part 6 students and left them own their own to find their own house on the dark and scary residential area in front of the campus when they had promised that all of us will be given a place inside the campus until we graduate from our diploma. assholes.

So, mina get a spot inside, which make hanis, sydney and me dangling on our won to find a house. The search for a house is long and tiring. many problems occur; the house is taken, we have to fight for the house, too expensive and not having enough housemates (since we are only in avery small group of three).

Still, I think we got a house. A few hours earlier, sydney and me had confirmed on a single storey house with three bedrooms for rm450 a month. I think we had confirmed it. Insyaallah.

So, during our tired days of looking for houses, we went out to McD ayer keroh. That McD is my place of zen. Why? because is relaxing to just sits there with your bestfriends and laughing about everything.and the place it musch more serene and quieter compares o other McD's in malls.

So there we are, laughing our ass off again, just like we use to do in our junior years. Now we are reaching for the final semester, and the hope for friendship is always there.

I love you guys :)

friends till MMS (orientation week) till the end.hehe :)

the day

a photographer?

haha, maybe yes, maybe no. I'm just starting to get into the whole big-advance- camera thingy, despite had been having it for over a year.

still, this is not what im going to ramble about in this post.hehe

yesterday I had my first exam paper for this sem's final. entrepreneurship. I hope i did well. I really dont know :(

So after the paper yesterday, berrie borrowed his friend's car (thankyou gomer for lending us your car) and we go out on a date. yippee!! its been too long since went out for a proper date. Afterall, we had a fight two days in a row and he's trying to make up for it.hehe. I will tell you later about the fight :)

We went to mbo first and we watch tropic thunder. the one with ben stiler, jack black and robert downey jr. My opinion on the show? I fell asleep for half an ahour throughout the show. so figure it out yourself.

after that we went to dataran pahlawan. we did nothing much.Just enjoying each other's company. we went to Afamosa and acted like tourist.hehe. i will be doing the whole tourist thing nextsem :D

Then i bought another skirt at brands outlet. Its a white flare mini with eyelet detail. Its so sweet and very very pretty.

I also bough sarra a t-shirt for her birthday (which is on the 29th october). It is a printed tee of a woman's face. I think it is really "her" and im glad she like it. Mina and I were actually planning a suprise celebration for her, but we are kinda tight on time. I bought big apple donuts and Mina was supposed to take her out somewhere, but since its already almost nine, we dont think we could make it. So Mina just take her out and I celebrate her with the donuts later on in our room.

Its kinda frustrating because all of us get somekind of a celebration but she didnt. But we will make it up to her later.

I janji sydney.hehe :)

I dont know why i felt so happy, maybe because i havent went out like this for quite sometime, life is so hactic with finals and what not. Haha, maybe this is the kind of time where we will enjoy life more :)

Oh btw, i love highschool musical 3. hehe. watch it people! and i love love love love the songs: can i have this dance and just wanna be with you.

new home :)

yes people, the picture above is what happen when you are bored out of your mind :) You see, Im at home now for 5 days (study week). I will be back in melaka tomorrow. (sabar eejat, aku nak balik dah ni.haha!)

I came home last sunday to my new house. It is weird to get usd to, but I have too. Seeing my old house empty, make me sad. A stack of memories washed my feelings. I remember 10 years ago, when i entered the old house. I was nine :)

Still, for the sake of my mother, just to see her happy, I pretend that im happy. I started to get used to my new house, new room. Although smaller (mummy just grab what's there because she wants to moved out quick), my room is cozier. I oragnized back all my stuff that my sister had put when she moved it, and i feel a little happy.

even kiki my cat is making herself at home now, after hours hiding under the bed, closet and table when we first brought her here.haha. Now she's all cozy up, sleeping on my mother's bed, sleeping with her every night.

Only, the thought that my dad i somewhere alone in this world makes me alilttle sad. I dont think i will ever see him again.

even after all he did to us, i still love him, and going to miss him. He is afterall, my dad.

I love you dad, eventhough sometimes it hurts. I will always remeber when i was smaller, we used to be so close. Sometimes I cried in the safety of my room, just wishing that I have a normal happy family like most people do. but I know this is a part of God's way to lead me to something better.

After every rainy day, there's always the sunlight.

I miss you dad.

I miss you old home.

and I love you mum.

ramblings

hello hello :))

i just had my second test for entrepeunership this evening. And right now im taking a break from studying. I have two final tests this weekend, multimedia and audio video. After that Im free for a few days (study week) and yeah, back again for final exam :(

Still, i cant wait to go home. Yes and no. I cant wait because i miss my mummy and my cat, no because i will be missing berrie and when i come home, it will be at the new house and i HATE the new house. I miss my current house :(

whatever.

I just cant wait for semester break. i will finish my driving test (insyaallah) and decorate my new room. I guess. And yeah, catch up with my old friends. Miss them A LOT :)

btw, tomorrow there will be a gig in melaka town. i wish i could go. but berrie is saving up and pingu is getting her dean's list scroll tomorrow. So i have no one else. But its okay, i will enjoy myself once i get home to PJ.

God, i really need to shop. again. (Yeah, i just shop earlier this week. i bought a new cute top and a mini skirt at a very VERY cool price!) Still, shopping is always my therapy. And im going to but the third and fourth book in the twilight series :D

Yes, im addicted now.haha

Okay, i finished my rambling.

The conclusion is: I miss free leisure time. I miss my family like the old days. I miss my old friends. I miss dating with my boyf. I just miss the way it used to be.

Do you guys get it?

rindu :(

I miss my yayang so much :((

Both of us are really busy during this two weeks period of time, where we are slammed with final presentations and examinations. Cant wait to dating dating and bercinta bercinta balik with you yayang :))

Study together again like the usual exam hactic time and just being with you.

Rinduuu sangat sangat :(

finally free

remember my super tight schedule from the post below?

Well, today was my last presentation. and im free now :) But only for presentation, not for the exams of course. Still, most of the presentations are okay, great actually. Only ETR (entrepeunership) is a bit suckish. Okay, maybe not a bit suckish, but A LOT.haha, but the lec gave us a second chance.

The greatest thing that happen to was my marketing presentation impressed the lecturer. He loved it very much and his impression on me and my group is wayyy better now. He loved our work, and I'm the CEO for this. So that make me super doubly proud :)) (but i cant do it without you ping and eejat)

Still, behind all these were the worse problem our group had ever had. I dont really want to talk about it, but it involves with people taking advantage, people give up to do the work, sleeping partners (meaning lazy ass who didnt do their work) and involves me crying for three days straight and a few times each day.

I'm so greatful for everything, now all this is over.

So i would like to thank my mummy who gave me words of wisdom, whose words had gave me back my spirit and energy to continue my work.

My yayang who will always comfort me and just by being in his presence is more than enough to make me happy again.

Pingu for always there for me, share all my tears and pain. Knows and understand what I'm going through, sacrife a lot for me. thankyou so much babe :)

and finally, and most special;eejat. i have to admit that is the very first time that I feel so valued in our friendship. All three of us (ping, you and me). Thankyou for caring, even though you do it in little actions such as waking me up every morning, knowing that im tired, back me up when im feeling so down, be there for me when im crying so hard. Although we never show what we meant to each other, but I know now that our friendship is the best.

saya sayang kamu pingu and eejat :))

thankyou for everything.

the ultimate busy-ness

hello :)

right now im just a few minutes away from presenting my flash group assignment.

tomorrow will be my research commnication presentation.

on thursday will be my event management presentation.

on Friday will be newscating.

The saturday will be my MUET workshop.

sunday will be the day I'm going to prepare my other assignments.

and on the monday, will be my marketing and entrepeunership presentation.

There will be afew days of freedom until friday, where i will need to submit my last and final report of marketing and entrepeunership. and ALSO an entrepeunership test :)

wait, its still not finish!

On the weekend is where i will have my final test for multimedia and also audio/video. :)

and finally the study week began.

and off i go to my final exam and CUTI SEM!!! :)

such a luck

hello, im firah.

and saya malang :)

the first week of class after my raya holidays are just the cherry on the top of the cake for the series of badluck and problematic life that i've been having.

want to know what happen?

yesterday my lecturer accused me of signing the attendance for my two bestfriends, which I totally did not, and today, after talking to the lecturer(which he still dont believe me, what the fuck?), i accompany ping to tapau her food, and being the GREAT malang me, I fell down the stairs, and my abck hurt till now.

sakit giler babi nak mati. i hope its nothing serious :(

oh well, with my parents separating, my pj friends accusing me, my assignments piling up, my boyfriend still in sarawak, the two event that happen today is totally NOTHING, right?

haha, oh well,i will just learn to embrace everything and learn to let go. :)

the truth

hello everybody :)

let me summarize what actually happen in my life, currently.

you see, a few moths back, my dad, once again, turns crazy, memaki hamun kami tanpa sebab and he cursed me to be a bohsia when i grow up and fail all my exam, he says this kind of things occasionally when he's angry. And he insulted my mother too, which i probably shouldnt mention here.

for those who knows, you know that my parents had been having crisis for years, even when im too young to know whats going on, their are already on the rocks. So im kind used to it :(

But this time, unfortunately for my dad, my mum decided to move out, and find a new house. The are not divorced, just separated, because mummy thinks that she's too old to get caught up in the whole court/divorce thingy.

FYI, if my mum move out, my dad will have nothing left.His second wife (my stepmum), left him years ago, and he dont make any money. If my mum leave him, he wont have anywhere to stay and all that. So the war begin..

My siblings and I are already afraid of him. Always is. Now he is doing all sorts of thing to convinced my mum not to move. Being too nice and sometimes being nasty and cruel. when it oesnt work on my mum, he starts to psycho us, the children. We are asked to choose between them and what not. And all other things that is very psychotic.

So i am not happy and save in my own home now, And the new house, is small compared to my current house. My room cant fit all stuff, clothes, shoes etc. Plus factor, its far from Petaling Jaya, where i had grow up, where all my friends is. So i am having a terrible emotional disturbance right now. We have to pretend we love the house and everything is all right in support of my mum.

We have to pack our stuff quietly, so that my dad wouldnt see, or else he will psycho us on and on and on again. I'm mentally tired. I'm distracted from my studies and all that.

So my PJ friends, please understand. I know you guys accused me that I had changed because i had new friends and a boyfriend, but its not. I had missed you guys every single minute, remembering all the things that we had done together all the time. Its not that I dont want to go hang out with you guys, but I just cant. I dont want to talk about it, but now, I finally did, just so you guys will understand.

When i moved to the new place, i promised i will ge back in touch with you guys. I tried to tell you what happen to me, but somehow you didnt want to hear.. , so now i let it out in the open. I hope you guys understand and KNOW that i didnt changed at all. I'm still me, and i had missed you guys so bad :(

I'm sorry xaty, hafiz,hazzy, marwan, danny, wanie, mieza, sarah, liyana, amal, arip, paan, nazriq, yvonne.

i missed you guys a lot. i hope u understand.

and to berrie,pingu,sarra,amina,hanis,apiq,yaya,eejat and other close friends, thankyou for being the one place that I know i can count on during this REALLY REALLY rough time in my life.

i hope everything will be over soon. insyaallah,aminn.

happy raya :)

sorry for being very very LATE to wish this, but..

HAPPY RAYA AIDILFITRI.

MAAF ZAHIR AND BATIN.

ampunkan if ada sentap, emo, hina, mengutuk, mengumpat, secara on purpose or not, depan2 or belakang2. Tahun ni 0-0 k, next year buat dosa baru.hee :)

ex. is it really over?

im so damn tired to think about ex's. And for the first time, its HIS ex.

Not that he's doing anything (i dont THINK so), but everytime her name appear in a conversation, my heart ache and hurts, and I hate it :(

i know my boyfriend after he just recently broke up with his ex, and he seems to be very much inlove with her. You see, my boyfriend is not the type of person who shows his love often, but in her case, even after SHE dumped him, he still says that he will wait for her, and published it on myspace (which the whole world can see).

I know he loves me. I know he really do, and i love him so much too. You can see the doodle in the picture, I wrote doodle like that almost everyday and in every class, thinking of him everytime. but the question is;

is his love for me can EVER be MORE than for his ex, which is his first love?

Can his love for me be greater than that?

I surely hope so, because I certainly love him more than anything in this world :(

misisng him :(

baby. I MISS YOUUU.

sejak bulan puasa ni tak selalu jumpa sangat. Jumpa masa berbuka je. I miss you so much sayang. Missing you make me so cranky tau ;`( I love you and miss you zabarie talep. cant wait for after raya, where we can study together 24/7 and for the holidays to come.we can go for dates before and after you went back to sarawak. and yess, just hang out at my house. Rindu sayang so much :( iloveyouforeverandever

hey. she's 19!

hello everybody :)

im OFFICIALLy nineteen on 13september 2008.

and to make this year special, I have had THREE special celebration from three different groups of my friends. Thanks guys.

And the best, my berrie made a special suprise, thanks to alip, amina and sydney for their help. I love you guys :)

and thanks to pingu,yaya, apiq and myra too for the lovely cake, TODI (haha) and the dinner :)

and hanis, for the little suprise.

thanks korang :)

and there are SO many photos to see, even me myself havent finish uploading it to facebook yet, so stay tuned kay? :)

Just a Cloth On The Head

Appearance DOES seems to matter isnt it? Whatever happen to the saying "dont judge a book by its cover"? What i'm trying to say here is that everyone, everywhere is stereotyping people by what they wear, why cant we try to get to know them first?

Especially, since I entered UiTM, msot keep on stereotyping me and my kind (make-up wearing, fashion concious and hair obssesed people) are always the one who is accused of being the clubbing, alcohol drinking, partying all night long kind of people. Okay, I know that most people who did that IS make-up wearing, fashion concious and hair obssesed people, but hey,not ALL of them is like that okay? The worst accusation ever is me and my kind do all those things mention above because we are NOT WEARING TUDUNG.

Hey what's the deal???

Nowadays, tudung is just a cloth on the head, Whilst NOT all these gediks people club and have free sex, the same goes with these tudung wearing girls. Not ALL of them is nice and sweet and oh-so-pure. they do all the bad things too. Sometmes WORST than the people that you ASSSUMED did it.

Hey, dont get me wrong, NOT everyone of these girls DO IT, but of course, a few did, okay? The exact same thing goes with these party-face girls. Some of them are quite nice okay?

So please dont just assume that just because we care about our hair, make up and clothes and yeah NOT WEARING TUDUNG, we are running around fucking people, drinking and clubbing okay?

Know us, than you JUDGE us.

breaking fast in style ;p

The first day of puasa. haha

Since I was stuck for a VERY long weekend here in Melaka (where it is a holiday for the first day of fasting, which make it two days including the independence day's holiday), I decided to break my first day of fasting outside campus.

So that evening Apiq help me to rent a car (thanks Apiq, so much) and of we go to Melaka. Berrie, Hanis and me. We couldnt decide where to eat. Kamal suggested the berputar restaurant near Sungai Putat, but we dont know where it is, and were too lazy to find it, hehe, so we go to Melaka Mall.

After cruising around Melaka Mall and Jusco, we decided on Nando's.I know, thats all we can get :( But its worth it, kinda, because it has the bottomles sice lemon tea. I ate the half chicken, same goes with berrie. And since he's too full, what's with the drinks, he gave a quarter of his chicken. All in all, i ate 3/4 chicken. That's like almost WHOLE chicken.hahahaha.

Kenyang sangat macam nak muntah ;p

we bought the 5.5 litre of mineral water before we got back. two each for me and hanis. So 4 all together. Its a tiring journey form the front gate of UiTM's to our level four room, isnt it?hehe, but the day was worth it, and im happy. Thanks Hanis, and thanks yayang :D

I love you yayang.

our song

PROMISE by MATCHBOOK ROMANCE

What would you say if I asked you not to go

To forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me

Would you take my hand and never let me go

Promise me you'll never let me go

And now the stars aren't out tonight,

But neither are we to look up at them

Why does hello feel like goodbye?

These memories can't replace,

These wishes I wished and dreams I chased

Take this broken heart and make it right

I feel like I've lost everything when you're gone

Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me

I thought you should know,You're not making this easy

I never thought I'd be the one to say

Please don't, well please don't leave me

I feel like I've lost everything when you're gone

Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me

I thought you should know,You're not making this easy

You're not making this easy (easy, easy, easy...)

Take my hand and never let me go,

Take my hand and never let me go,

Promise me...

You'll never let goYou'll never let goYou'll never let goYou'll never let go

Make this last forever

I feel like I've lost everything when you're gone

Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me

I thought you should know, You're not making this easy

You're not making this easy

You're not making this easy

You're not making this easy

You're not making this easy

I'll fall asleep tonight, 'cause that brings me closer to you

Berrie dedicate this song to me.He sings it while playing the guitar.

Thankyou sayang. I love you so much :D other song in our "OUR SONG" playlist:

- guardian angel by red jumpsuit apparatus

- permysuri by OAG

- cintamu by dgyta

- with you by chris brown

- forever by kristy lee cook

- always be my baby by mariah carey hehe :D

stupidity is the middle name

please dont be so stupid.

please amik tahu dulu the real story.

and PLEASE dont involve kitaorang BERTIGA lah PUKIMAK.

What the fuck?

You dont know the real story, just SHUT UP your fucking mouth. thankyou.

because WE are really not involved in this. Stop being a busybody and pulling people into mess that you created yourself, idiots.

BUNCH of plastics assholes. lakhanat anak haram.

birthday, stressday, anniv day :)

HELLO my everyday people :)

actually, this post (the pictures I mean) has been drafted for quite sometimes, since the events of the photos had taken place on the 30th of august 2008, a day after my ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY.

To make things short, this celebration or should i say, par-tay, is for amina's and berrie's birthday (17 and 20th august) and My anniversary. I planned the whole thing, and let me tell you, the whole event of planning it is sickening and ful of stress. Why? Because I did it particularly ALONE. and what makes it sadder is that its MY anniversary too. I am one of the people who is being celebrated too :(

To make things worst, sarra had to go back SUDDENLY for the weekend and Pingu bailed on me the last minute. I wont get into details, they are my bestfriends and I love them, but seriously guys, Im a little hurt and sad okay? But I forgive you guys, of course :)

Fortunately, althought we had to come back early, at around six pm, the day is still very happening.
I managed to get make the suprise and found the perfect park for the picnic that I've been dying to have (thanks to hanis who had run from publishing talk to help me.love you babe) And everything goes well. We have the cake and the cupcakes, and berrie enjoy himself so much. He keeps whispering in my ear how happy i am and how much he loves me. I LOVE YOU TOO yayang :D

Although i wasted my energy for two weeks, and all my money gone, I'm still happy because my friends enjoy the day and I managed to make my yayang happy.

so, HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY AMINA AND BERRIE and HAPPY ONE EYAR ANNIVERSARY SAYANG on 29th of august :)

oh yeah, for more photos, check out my facebook kay?