the truth

hello everybody :)

let me summarize what actually happen in my life, currently.

you see, a few moths back, my dad, once again, turns crazy, memaki hamun kami tanpa sebab and he cursed me to be a bohsia when i grow up and fail all my exam, he says this kind of things occasionally when he's angry. And he insulted my mother too, which i probably shouldnt mention here.

for those who knows, you know that my parents had been having crisis for years, even when im too young to know whats going on, their are already on the rocks. So im kind used to it :(

But this time, unfortunately for my dad, my mum decided to move out, and find a new house. The are not divorced, just separated, because mummy thinks that she's too old to get caught up in the whole court/divorce thingy.

FYI, if my mum move out, my dad will have nothing left.His second wife (my stepmum), left him years ago, and he dont make any money. If my mum leave him, he wont have anywhere to stay and all that. So the war begin..

My siblings and I are already afraid of him. Always is. Now he is doing all sorts of thing to convinced my mum not to move. Being too nice and sometimes being nasty and cruel. when it oesnt work on my mum, he starts to psycho us, the children. We are asked to choose between them and what not. And all other things that is very psychotic.

So i am not happy and save in my own home now, And the new house, is small compared to my current house. My room cant fit all stuff, clothes, shoes etc. Plus factor, its far from Petaling Jaya, where i had grow up, where all my friends is. So i am having a terrible emotional disturbance right now. We have to pretend we love the house and everything is all right in support of my mum.

We have to pack our stuff quietly, so that my dad wouldnt see, or else he will psycho us on and on and on again. I'm mentally tired. I'm distracted from my studies and all that.

So my PJ friends, please understand. I know you guys accused me that I had changed because i had new friends and a boyfriend, but its not. I had missed you guys every single minute, remembering all the things that we had done together all the time. Its not that I dont want to go hang out with you guys, but I just cant. I dont want to talk about it, but now, I finally did, just so you guys will understand.

When i moved to the new place, i promised i will ge back in touch with you guys. I tried to tell you what happen to me, but somehow you didnt want to hear.. , so now i let it out in the open. I hope you guys understand and KNOW that i didnt changed at all. I'm still me, and i had missed you guys so bad :(

I'm sorry xaty, hafiz,hazzy, marwan, danny, wanie, mieza, sarah, liyana, amal, arip, paan, nazriq, yvonne.

i missed you guys a lot. i hope u understand.

and to berrie,pingu,sarra,amina,hanis,apiq,yaya,eejat and other close friends, thankyou for being the one place that I know i can count on during this REALLY REALLY rough time in my life.

i hope everything will be over soon. insyaallah,aminn.